About that Time...

Every year I write my grand nephew and my grand niece letters that they will open when they graduate from high school. They started out as "Hey, this is what you were like!" letters but as they live very far away I don't really know what they are like aside from a few stories from their mom or in a lucky year a quick visit. So instead I started writing "this is what the world is like" letters.

Last year I didn't write my g. nephew's letter until August. There was a lot that happened from May to August and I kept pushing the letter trying to get a moment to encapsulate what it was like. Rereading that letter today was just sad. I can feel the hope radiating out of it. The underlying worry that maybe it wouldn't turn out well was there as well, but overall the letter was hopeful.

I remember hope. Barely.

Now I need to start thinking about what to write in this one.

And how in the hell will it be anything but despondent?

And the one to his sister will be even worse. How do I tell her that there are forces at work in the government who see her as nothing but a broodmare? And not only that but she will need to brace herself for people saying openly bigoted things around her (as well as my g. nephew) as they resemble their Swedish and Irish ancestry more than their Mexican side and we live in a new world where people are vile without shame.

We are all existing in this new landscape, but I'm not sure many of us are seeing a bright and hopeful future. Every week there is something new and insane. We started with outlawing trans people, moved on to concentration camps and now have among so many other things; "Gift" planes from a terrorist supporting country, arguments against the Constitution, ignoring the courts, arresting judges, open crypto grift, destruction of the social safety net, it just goes on and on.

Writing the letters is just a more personalized version of what I write here so it should be easy right? But writing here has been a painful experience in trying to find something to say about unspeakable things. And the letters are meant to be read in the future. Not too far off for my g. nephew, but still almost a decade away for my g. niece. And what will reading them at that point be like? Will they see what used to be and mourn it or will they read those letters and think, you were the crazy one, Aunt Denise.

Putting that personal touch on the thinking about the future. Knowing that they won't know a different world, not one without Trump always being involved. It's a lot. Which I guess the letters will help them with. Maybe instead of mourning what the world could have been, maybe they will show a different way it could still be.

Make America Great, but for real this time.