Challenging...

I talked with a friend of mine back home this morning. On the phone. So you know it's the end times...

It wasn't a super long conversation. Just a touching base after not speaking (or "speaking") to each other in awhile. Since I left Facebook I'm way out of the loop. Even if people are on Bluesky they aren't as active and they don't post in the same ways. Now, to be fair, Facebook wasn't even like Facebook by the time I left, but it was still more communication than I have with people now.

The whole conversation could basically be summed up with "What the fuck?" And "I know right? What the fuck."

Because that's where we are in the good old USofA right now. If there was a map of our timeline the big you are here star would be squarely over What the Fuck?

I asked Brent this morning if he thought that this would be the point where those who were cheering their heads off for the president at UFC on Saturday would realize that something is wrong. (The fact that he is openly defying the Supreme Court. The fact that there is no way now to deny we are clearly in a Constitutional Crisis moment. The we are going to send "homegrowns" to a concentration camp in a foreign country and everyone laughs part.) And Brent said that he didn't think so. First off they would have to be paying attention and the state sponsored media isn't telling them there is anything to worry about and then if they did see what was happening they'd have to care.

And he's right.

For a lot of them this is just fine. They are perfectly fine with authoritarian rule. Disappearing people off the street is cool. Fucking around with the economy with tariffs and then handing out favors to his favorite billionaires for carve outs while driving other companies out of business is the way it should work. Calling for investigations into people who dare to speak against him is just the right thing to do. Threatening colleges, universities, media outlets and individual citizens is correct.

Ignoring the Supreme Court is justified.

The Constitution is a hindrance not the sacred document they used to pretend it was.

We are squarely in the what the fuck moment.

And for a lot of people they just don't care, or they approve. Which is just more what the fuck.

My friend, Brent, and I all agree that it's exhausting to be this angry all of the time. But it's also impossible not to be. We were all GenX kids. Grew up firmly believing the world was going to end in nuclear war. And then that didn't happen. The cold war went subzero and we thought we'd found a path forward. And the belief that the good guys won was part of it. And yet... Turns out the good guys weren't really all that good. None of us thought that we'd spend our old age fighting a revolution but here we are. What the fuck?

And we are all coming at it with our own shit. It's not like last October the US was perfection. My friend has chronic health issues and her insurance just doesn't touch it. She's made health decisions based on that fact. And that's insane. I mean, I respect her choices, I understand why she is making the choices she is, the insane part is that we live in one the richest countries on Earth and there is no reason why any of us should be making healthcare decisions based strictly on what our insurance will cover. It shouldn't be like this. The choices that have been made to get us to this point are the insane part.

But because of where we live, because of her health, she's got chronic pain and fatigue to add to the ledger of what we are all collectively dealing with.

We've all got the general what the fuckness and then added levels (does this affect you personally, does this affect a loved one, is your job safe, is your house secure, how's your health) of this is just fucked.

I haven't written as much this month because I don't want to add too much to the stresses of everyone reading. I have tried to figure out a way to carve out moments in my own life where I can just not be furious. I'm exhausted and we've only just gotten started. I know you are all the same and I don't want to contribute to that. I used to be a joy in people's lives, now I'm just part of the what the fuckness of it.

But I can't not write. It's how I process. It's how I connect. And it's how I remind you all that you aren't the only one looking at the world right now and wondering how in the heck it got like this. (I know, heck seems really jarring there, but remember I'm the one who says things like "Oh my goodness that so fucked up." I'm a mishmash of swearwords and old lady sayings.)

So I guess I'm just apologizing. And also commiserating. And thanking you all for being here. All of that all wrapped up into one.

I don't know what happens next. I don't believe it will be good. But I am grateful that there are more than two of us out there ready to lace up our Doc Martens and get back to kicking ass. Even if we will need more Advil to recover than we used to...

Stay safe.
Do what you need to to stay sane.

And I'm sorry about shocking you with the fact that I spoke on the phone with someone. I'm still shocked myself but we do live in the what the fuckiest of times.