Best Of Recaps...

Okay, it's that time of year. The Best of lists are all out. The Year in Reviews have hit. The wrapped versions of everything. How was your 2025? What did you do? What was the best thing you saw, ate, did, read?

Since I've been trying to decide how to map 2026 I decided I'd take a little longer to wrap up 2025 and figure some more things out. So instead of an end of the year one day blog (or as well as) I'm going to do some deep navel gazing over the next 11 days and wrap up 2025 in a little more detail than normal.

So let's begin.

Last year on January 1st I wrote out my goals for the year as has become my tradition. I say my tradition like it's not EVERYONE'S tradition to set goals on the 1st. But for me it's become my tradition instead of the more natural time for me to do it which is the Fall. I've sort of started dual goal setting times. The yearly goals as far as calendar year and the yearly goals as in birthday to birthday.

The blog wasn't the typical one though. I knew we weren't heading into a typical year and that I couldn't treat it as such. I was still furious over the election results and what was going to come our way in just a few short weeks. This is what I posted at the time: "Well I don't know exactly how to describe what it's going to be. I think we are seeing the end of our democracy. I don't see our guardrails holding this time. I don't know if we will recover from this. I especially don't know if I'll see the recovery in my lifetime. I'm pessimistic and that's not my normal state of mind."

Then I talked about how that meant my goals were going to be a little different in 2025 than normal. That what I needed to do was focus on searching for joy in the new year. On being a fortress for my own wellbeing and for my family. That we needed to be able to build a wall around ourselves and hold shit together.

So that's my first check in for the year. How did I do?

Well, I'm still furious. I wasn't wrong. His administration has done a lot to bring about the end of democracy. He's destroyed more than he's built. He's busy covering the White House in gilt and there is no guilt over abandoning the most vulnerable in our own country and in the rest of the world. People are dying because of the actions of this administration and more will. The damage they have done is generational. I don't think the United States will ever be seen as a reliable partner in geopolitics again.

I said I refused to live in despair and I'm here to tell you that at times that has been really difficult. There is so much to despair over. All the time.

Just this week they effectively banned health care for trans kids no matter where in the country they live. They will come for trans adults next. And there will be a lot of anti trans bullshit in 2026 as midterms near because they've decided that is their winning message. Sure, you're paying more for everything, you've lost your healthcare, the wealth gap has become even larger, you lost your job to an AI bot BUT you're free to hate trans people so that makes it all better right? And fuck all of the "centrist" dems who think that we should let trans people be discriminated against for the "win." Fuck all the way off with that message. Protecting everyone's rights should be the message all the time. EVERYONE.

So anyway...

What I've done to try and limit the despair is really limit my intake of news. I am the least informed as I have ever been. Now, to be fair, I'm still pretty informed, but not as deeply or as broadly as I used to be. I used to find real enjoyment in political discussions and in following the workings of our country. I don't anymore. I don't watch any news coming out of the White House. I believe they are all lying to me so why bother? I find a recap from someone I trust and read that.

We've also been to a few protests and changed some of our giving and our regular spending. There is no way to be perfect or pristine in our spending, but we are making really conscious choices on who gets our money and why. We haven't been to Target all year. Our spending at Amazon has been cut back to only things we can only find there. We got a membership to Costco. We make sure to give a little extra to World Central Kitchen. Doing something, even if it's not perfect, is better than not doing anything. It makes you feel like you are at least trying. Going to protests has been a way of being counted in the numbers of people who disagree with what is happening. As the signs say, it's so bad even the introverts are here.

And we still look for joy. We go to Thorns matches. We picked up season tickets to the Fire (the new WNBA team in town) and if the CBA gets settled we will have those games to go to as well. We kept our season tickets to Portland Center Stage and go to their plays. We are doing 5 (FIVE!!) Christmas shows this season. We watch sports on TV that we both enjoy. We watch movies in our media room. We have holidays and game nights and weekly phone calls with Katie (and her girlfriend). We spoil the cats. We enjoy each other's company even when work sucks and the world sucks. We have coffee and dinner with like minded friends. Build that fortress.

So have I avoided despair and found joy? Not always, but a lot of the time. It's been an active happiness year instead of an innate happiness year. Sometimes you have to work for the things that used to come naturally. It's not denial, not all the time, but sometimes it is denial. Sometimes it's blocking out the outside and only focusing on us. What we can control. What we can do.

It's not perfect but it's the best we have right now.

So how does that work for 2026? I think I take the lessons from 2025 and keep working on them. Setting more things to the side that I have no control over. Ignorance is bliss sort of thing. Not complete blocking out, we need to be aware of a lot of things for safety reasons, but blocking out what we can. Looking for the light. Add another layer to our fortress. Maybe a moat...

Yeah, a moat sounds like it could be fun. With piranhas...

And a drawbridge that can be lowered and raised as needed. That leads into my fortress which is surprisingly like a pillowfort with extra blankets once you get behind the wall.

Happiness and peace in 2026 is going to be something we all have to work toward again. And that's my first goal for the year. To keep holding on to joy with both hands. To keep working on my fortress. To keep being happy and strong for myself and for the people I love.