C & C...

After mentioning Cake and Compliments month in a previous blog I had a couple people reach out and ask what the heck that was and I realized that there are people out there who weren't around during the height of Cake and Compliments Month so they missed the fun.

Or at least I thought it was fun.

So let me backup for those who are new around here. The rest of you are dismissed unless you need a reminder, and yes, it will be on the test.

Growing up my family didn't really celebrate my birthday. Not as a stand alone event. When I was really young we were always in Iowa over my birthday and so there would be a family dinner on whatever Sunday was closest and I got a cake. Which at three is pretty great.

After my grandfather died and we stopped going back to Iowa my birthday got grouped in the "August Birthdays" family dinner. Me, brother John, Aunt Lucille and Cousin Todd all had one celebration. There was dinner, a card signed by everyone and that was that. At least for me. Who knows if the rest of them had other celebrations but for me that family dinner was when my family marked my (and their) birthday.

Which lead to my John Hughes moment of no one in my family wishing me a Happy Birthday on my 16th Birthday. Which was also the first day of my junior year in high school. My friend Matt (who shared my birthday) and I decided this was just not okay so we cut class and went to the mall. It was honestly a great birthday in hindsight.

I also spent my 18th with Matt when he came by my work to wish me a happy birthday and found out that Brent and I had no plans to do anything that night. We ended up at Matt's house and he had added my name to the cake that his boyfriend had gotten for him. It lead to a fun interaction with some girls that were there who assumed I was some guy named Dennis that Matt was flaunting in Bishop's face. Oh, no, sorry, no gay drama, just me! I think they were disappointed.

My 19th birthday Brent threw me a party. But we didn't really know many people in Florida so it was a few of my work friends, a few of his, and then a few people that they knew. One of the guys there thought I was celebrating my 30th. Oh...okay then. You are off the future invite list!

My 20th Brent got me 20 roses and we went to a nice dinner to celebrate the Magic Birthday.

My 21st we went to multiple places to try and get someone to card me. I mean, I guess I looked 30 on my 19th so what was I expecting?

Then Katie came and I stopped celebrating my birthday at all. I had a few years where Brent was trying his best to make up for the lack of parties when I was younger but since I had never had them, I didn't really miss them. Just wanted him to remember and that was good enough.

When Katie got a little older I made a joke about birthday month and it stuck. See, Katie and Brent share a birthday month but I have the whole month to myself. So I would announce it was birthday month and then birthday week and then birthday weekend and then actual birthday. I didn't expect anything out of the month, but it was fun to pretend and to use it as an excuse to have dinner out or an extra dessert. My actual birthday we would go to dinner and a movie, or multiple movies. Before COVID I loved seeing movies in a theater.

Then came the depression of 2016. I didn't do birthday month. I didn't want to. I didn't want to do anything. Looking back at the blogs during that time and I actually stopped birthday month in 2015, I wasn't in the mood I said. That was the beginning of the dark year. I wrote a recap blog in 2016 and made the decision to get better on that day. Because I couldn't imagine that the rest of my life was going to be like the previous year.

In 2017 I brought back birthday month but changed it to Cake and Compliments month. Because really that's all birthday month had been. An excuse to eat cake and for people to tell me happy birthday and how young and thin I looked.

I expanded it to everyone. I wanted everyone to celebrate with me. Eat the cake. Give the compliment. Cake being whatever treat you wanted. Whatever fun thing you decided to have. Whatever thing that life was too short to deny yourself. And the compliments were for your own good as much as the person receiving them. It really does make a difference in your day to say the thing out loud. When you see someone with a beautiful pair of shoes on, tell them. When you like the color of someone's shirt, tell them. If someone does something that just impresses you, tell them. Give the compliment. In 2018 I started the yearly hashtag. #50isNifty was the first of many year long tags.

So Cake and Compliments month had a good few years. Until it didn't. When Mom took all of August 2019 to die it was the longest month ever. Waiting for that call. I stuck by my guns and did Cake and Compliments month anyway. Kept jollying myself along. But when 2020 rolled around and the world was in lockdown and the grief of that month the year before rolled back around tied with the grief of losing Brent's mother earlier in 2020 and...well it was retired.

Birthday month, Cake and Compliments Month, and then eventually the hashtags were all put in a box and packed away. They had their moments. They were fun to share with all of my online friends. They were a good excuse to get some extra cake.

So now you know.

So again, for old time's sake, have some cake, give some compliments. Maybe even get ready for a new(ish) hashtag for the coming year.