Honestly, Though...

She stood at the nurses' station waiting for them to notice her. She could have said something but she was content to eavesdrop for a moment instead. She was in no real rush to see what she knew was waiting for her.

"She reached out and put her hand on my arm, just the lightest touch, and she said, 'that's a lovely shade of pink' and before I could thank her she said, 'but pink really is a color for a much younger woman, don't you think?'"

There was a collective gasp and a few "oh you're kidding!" and one "What a hoot!"

Then one of the nurses noticed her standing there and they all collected themselves. "Oh so sorry, we didn't see you there, can we help you?"

"I'm looking for my mother. Anita Holloway."

She didn't make eye contact with the woman who was telling the story. It was best to pretend she hadn't heard a thing.

"Room 217, just down and to the left."

"Thank you."

As she walked off she could hear the furious whispering. She almost turned back to let them know that she wasn't insulted. Or suprised. And that she could tell them, "My mother actually said..." stories that they would laugh about for years and years. Like when she stood up to toast her middle son and his new bride.

"I never liked Brenda. I always thought a couple should be evenly matched, and you can tell with your own eyes that Brenda is much too pretty for George. Oh now, don't look so offended, you know you aren't much of a looker. You got all of the wonky parts from both sides of the family all smashed together. It lends you a certain character, but you aren't conventionally attractive. Which is a nice way of saying you are ugly.

I thought maybe she was trying to get closer to your older brother by using you. Or possibly your sister. Yes, I know we were all supposed to be surprised when Jackie told us she liked girls, but honey, nobody was surprised. Such a pretty thing too, and from what the TV and movies tell us that doesn't matter as much to the lesbians. It's a shame she wasn't our not conventionally attractive one, right George? Anyway it seems that when Brenda looks at you she sees past those ears, that nose and even your eyebrows. I just hope when you have children they take after her. Here's to the happy couple, cheers!"

Jackie found her mother's room and saw her sister-in-law sitting by the bed. Brenda was still very pretty. And their children had taken after her. Mostly. There was one who had George's ears but they had chosen to embrace the extra room for piercings. Much to her mother's neverending shock. "How do you ever get through a metal detector at the airport?"

Her mother looked very small in her hospital bed. There were so many chords trailing from her body she looked like a marionette. Jackie wondered who would ever be brave enough to try and pull her strings.

"Is she sleeping?"

"Off and on. I think she's having a hard time getting comfortable. You can see they've got her wired for sound."

"How has she been?"

"You know your mother."

"That's a diplomatic answer that means I've been mean as a snake and twice as likely to bite. I wasn't sure you'd come."

"Of course I came, mother. Why would you think I wouldn't come?"

"Well once you decided I'm not going to heaven why would you bother sending me off?"

"To be fair, it's not that I don't believe you specifically aren't going to heaven. It's that I stopped believing there was a heaven to go to."

"It's the same thing really."

"No, telling people your daughter is an atheist is very different than telling people your daughter doesn't think you are going to heaven."

"Well, only because one amuses me so much more."

"I'm sure it does. How are you feeling?"

"I'm dying. How do you think I'm feeling?"

"Haven't you always told us not to be dramatic, that we are all dying all the time?"

"That was when you would get overwrought with a minor scrape. Not now. Now that I'm actually dying it's a perfect time to be dramatic. Alas, poor me, I am dying."

Jackie laughed. "Okay, but how are you feeling otherwise? Are you in any pain? Is there anything we can do to make you more comfortable?"

"No, they've got me hooked up to a morphine drip and I can just push the button any old time I want to. No worries about addiction now. Eventually I'll just float off in a fuzzy warm haze. Your older brother was here last night. You were the last one I was waiting for."

Jackie looked over at Brenda who shook her head slightly.

"Well I'm here now."

Her mother reached her hand out and Jackie took it in hers. She was so fragile now. Just the smallest of bird bones wrapped in parchment paper.

"One of the nurses looks like a porn actress."

"Mom!"

"No, I'm serious. Your father had a bit of a fascination with the dirty pictures. We sometimes watched them together."

"Mom, we don't need to know..."

"Oh hush. You kids always think you're the only ones who did those sorts of things. Well, let me tell you, your father and I were a little wild back in the day. When we got good dialup on the computer he found a whole world of porn to watch. Used to love the girl on girl pictures until I asked if he thought that's what you and your girlfriend did. He said I ruined it for him. I said I didn't ruin it, JACKIE ruined it. But honestly, I ruined it. I did it on purpose. It was fun to look at when we were younger, but we kept getting older and those girls did not. Then it was just uncomfortable."

"That's actually kind of profound, Mom."

"I am a woman of multitudes."

"You are."

Just then one of the nurses came in to the room. "If you ladies don't mind stepping out for just a moment I need to change your mother's dressings."

"She means diaper. I've asked them to have you step out so you don't have to envision what your nethers are going to look like when you are old and dried up. I have no dignity left, but I do still love you enough not to give you nightmares."

"Okay, Mom, we'll be right outside until you are done."

"Oh go get me something to drink instead would you? I'd love a Dr. Pepper."

Jackie looked over at the nurse.

"Don't ask her, I'm telling you. And besides she's just going to say yes. At this point I can have anything I want. It's the benefit of dying."

The nurse smiled and nodded. "She's right, she can have whatever she wants."

Brenda and Jackie headed for the vending machines. "Karl?"

"Last night when George got to her room she was talking to herself. Laughing and smiling. Then she sort of snapped at him, 'Aren't you going to say hello to your brother?' he started to say that Karl wasn't there, to remind her that he was gone, when she nodded and said, 'Oh, I see, okay then. Just for me.' George said the hairs on his arms stood up. He doesn't know if Karl was really there or if it was the morphine making her think he was, but it was spooky."

"Even being dead Karl made it before I did. That's great. She will tell that story..."Jackie trailed off. "She would tell that story forever if she could. Where is George?"

"He and the kids went home to get a little sleep. He should be back in an hour or so. I know they are all excited to see you, though they wish it were under better circumstances."

"Me too."

They saw the nurse leaving their mother's room and started to head back down the hallway. Passing the nurses station Jackie thought about letting the nurse in pink know that her mother's favorite dress, the one she wanted to be buried in was a dusty rose color. Instead she just smiled knowing that it would be added to the list of "My mother actually said..." stories.

She was grateful to have at least one more.