Love Languages...

We went to the bakery and the butcher this morning to pick up our holiday feast stuff.

I learned a few years ago that though picking everything up on Wednesday SEEMS like a good idea, it most definitely is not. The first year I ordered from the bakery (New Cascadia, gluten free EVERYTHING) I stood in a line that went all through the bakery, out the door, and down the block. It wasn't raining but it was pretty freaking cold.

When Katie was coming up from Bend for the week I'd plan on going on Monday or possibly Tuesday because I'd have company in line and the line isn't AS bad on Monday and Tuesday as it gets on Wednesday. Last year I did it all myself on Monday and it was fine except for the parking at the bakery. It's on the eastside of Portland and the neighborhood is mixed residential and commercial and very little off street parking. This year I picked Saturday so Brent could come with.

Because it's always easier if he is along. He can circle the block while I go stand in line and pick up everything.

But honestly it's always easier when he is along in general.

It's good to have someone in your life, be they a romantic partner or just a good friend, who really gets you and is a help to you. I told him that I loved him as we were driving between the bakery and the butcher shop and he jokingly said "You're only saying that because I'm driving you around on your errands." And I agreed.

I mean, that's not the only reason why I love him, but it is what triggered me to make sure I said it. That and I wasn't for sure the last time I told him I loved him. It could have been as long ago as Thursday. I might have skipped yesterday altogether. But for sure on Thursday before he left for work. We always tell each other we love each other before he leaves for work. Same as Katie and I always tell each other we love each other before we hang up the phone. In the unfortunate case of an untimely demise we hang WAY TOO MUCH weight on the last words we say to each other instead of the words we've said as a whole. But knowing that, I try to make sure that we all know we are loved and it's been said.

I try to do the same with my friends. I tell them I love them. Or I send them memes or screenshots of funny Bluesky posts or I text them back when they text me instead of leaving them on read, which is basically the same thing.

I sort of hate the notion of "love language" it's that pseudo psychology, self help book, armchair deep thinking bullshit that drives me crazy. BUT...there is a nugget in there of truth. Everyone has ways that they show love best. My problem with the concept of A love language is that we all exhibit all of them and appreciate all of them at different times, like if you want to say my love language is gifts instead of acts of service, great but if you are overwhelmed with household chores someone bringing you flowers is not going to hit as hard as someone doing a load of dishes for you.

I've talked before about how I'm not super romantic. I don't like the over the top showy gestures. They make me uncomfortable and frankly more than a little suspicious. But drive me around to do errands so I don't have to worry about parking? Now we are talking! Bring me two dozen long stem roses and take me to a fancy steak dinner? Eh. But put your hand on my back while we are in a crowd so I don't feel like strangers are in my space? You're the best!

It's good to have people in your life that understand you. It's good to have friends and loved ones that get you. And it's good to pay attention to what they need as well.

As we enter the full force of the holiday season I'm wishing for you space and calm and surrounding yourself with people you love and who love you back.

And, just incase I haven't told you recently, I love you.