Oh Good Heavens...

The girl is 57...

This is what I wrote in last year's birthday blog:

"What do I want from the coming year?

I want to be healthy. I want to be happy. I want to stay centered and calm during the coming political storm. I want my house to feel comfortable. I want my days to seem focused. I want my relationships with my husband and my child to continue to be solid."

So, how did I do?

I thought this morning that birthday hashtags should probably be updated at the end of every year. Like last year I used #56Kicks because it was a throwback in my head to the 86 Kicks that was my high school graduation year. But I'm thinking maybe it was more #56OneDamnThingAfterTheOther , no rhyme but a play on 5-6 doncha know. Which isn't really fair. I mean overall it was a decent year. It's just...

That whole "stay centered and calm during the coming political storm" part. There was still a part of me that had hope it wouldn't go the way it did when I wrote that. You all know that I was worried Trump would win very early last year and I could never shake that feeling. Even when I was seeing all of the optimism for Harris and starting to think, maybe? There was still a part of me that was like, yeah, no, he's going to win. It's over. People are going to vote us into our own destruction.

And they did.

And no matter how much I have tried to be optimistic about the future of the country it's not worked. As you all know from reading these posts. The powers that be have been waiting for this moment and they are moving to make sure we don't get past it easily. I'd like to think it won't work but I just don't feel that way. I'll still do my part to fight against it but I'm not optimistic. Which is very odd for me since up until a couple of years ago I would have described myself as an optimistic person by nature.

So the whole centered and calm part just didn't happen. I'm off kilter and angry pretty much all the time. There is a constant feeling of dread and fear and just flat out disgust going all the time. And yet...

My relationships with my husband and my child are still strong and lovely. I have a wonderful family. I mean, I know you all know that, but it bears repeating. They are great. One of the greatest joys of my life is that we all like each other as well as love each other. There is no one I'd rather spend my day with than Brent and the close second is Katie.

Health wise I finally found a doctor who listened to me about my achilles issue and after literal decades of pain provided help. It's so much better I cannot even believe it. There are times when I'm working out that it twinges and I think "uh oh" but it fades back away instead of hobbling me for the next few days. As far as the rest of it goes nothing new seems to have broken, or needed medicated to keep working, so I'm taking that as a win! Positive health strides.

My house is comfortable. We added a couple more things to the catio area to make it more useful to us, not just to the cats. I let the garden do it's own thing this year to see how many of the wildflowers came back. It wasn't many. But it was still a lovely yard to sit outside and look at.

My days are focused. For me. I've got my lists, I've got my chores. I've got my acceptance that some days I'm not going to follow any of that and that's okay too.

And even though I'm angry about things that are happening that are out of my control I'm still basically a happy person. My life is good. In the middle of the shit storm my life is still good. I honestly don't know how long that will last and so I'm trying very hard not to take it for granted.

What do I want for the coming year? Well, I want to be the best version of me that I can be. I want to be a safe place for my husband and my child during turbulent times. I want to continue to be grateful for what I have and not focused on what we might all lose. I want to be healthy, I want to be happy, I want to be present.

And since I'm not on Facebook anymore I'll post the birthday girl photos here:

Another cycle around the sun. Cake and compliments for everyone!

I love you all and your butts look great in those jeans/skirts/yoga pants.