On The List...

"Oh yeah, I have to see that movie. She's on my list."

"On your list?"

"My free pass list."

"Not following."

"Your free pass list. The famous people that you have a free pass for, that you could totally sleep with without your wife getting mad at you."

"You have a list? Like a list of people you would sleep with and your wife knows about it?"

"Sure. She has a list too."

"And you know who is on that list?"

"Yeah."

"Doesn't that make it really weird if you are watching a movie with them in it? Like the whole time you are thinking, she's fantasizing about banging that dude right now."

"Well, no, I don't think about it the whole time. I don't even really think about it at all. Not like that, I just tell her, hey Chris Pine has a new movie out, and I know she'll want to watch. And I might get the side benefit, if you know what I mean."

"I do know what you mean. You mean she might have sex with you while thinking about Chris Pine."

"No! That's not what I meant."

"So does Chris Pine know he's on her list? Like do you have to inform the people that are on your list and see if they agree to being on the list?"

"No, dude, no. Though I did hear a story once about a pretty famous actor who used to tell women that they were on his list. Like in meet and greet lines he would look up and say, 'oh my god...this is so embarrassing but you are on my free pass list' He said it worked a lot of the time. But I'm thinking if someone is in a meet and greet line he didn't really need to go to that much trouble. Like he could have just said, 'you wanna?' and the results would be the same."

"Maybe he was trying to illustrate a point. Like he was saying, don't tell famous people that they are on your list. It's creepy and inappropriate."

"I doubt it. He seemed pretty comfortable with the idea. Though thinking about it now, he's kind of a creep so..."

"Well someone who keeps a list of people they could sleep with without their spouse being able to say anything is kind of a creep when you think about it. I mean, no offense."

"Ha. Ha. You're still taking it too seriously. It's not real. It's just a way of saying that you find someone attractive. It's kind of playful really. You and your spouse letting each other know that you are choosing them, and they are choosing you even though you both are still human and find other people attractive."

"Maybe."

"Okay so for arguments sake, who would be on your list?"

"Hmm... Sharon maybe?"

"Sharon Stone? Solid choice."

"No. Sharon who lives down the street. She's very pretty."

"No, dude, no! It can't be someone that you actually have contact with! It's a fantasy list. A completely out of the realm of possibility that it could happen list."

"Okay, so not a retroactive list either?"

"What? No. You can't put someone on the list as a free pass that you've already slept with. What is wrong with you?"

"Look, I'm just trying to figure out the rules to your cheating list game. Don't get mad at me about it."

"Fine, don't make a list. I'll never mention the list again."

"One more thing, are you sure your wife will never meet Chris Pine? I mean, I've heard he's filming a new movie in the area."

"Stop it."

"Just saying. He's on her list. I could call her and let her know..."