Quite the Character

He did not have main character energy. He knew that about himself. He didn't even have wacky side kick energy. The most he thought he could muster was concerned bystander. But even that was probably a stretch. He was more the background of the background. The people you needed to fill out a scene but only because it would feel weird for the world to be totally empty.

Like during the pandemic. When everyone stayed home and there were no background characters when you had to run to the store for your emergency supplies. The world felt off, but you couldn't say it actually made a difference not having them there. Not really.

He was okay with it, by the way. His status as background. He had never felt the need to be more. He actually thought it was embarrassing when people who clearly did not have main character energy tried to be the main character. When you could see the actual main characters giving them puzzled looks, wondering why they were trying to take the lead. The "oh, honey, no" moments.

As the kids would say today, so cringe.

Or yesterday. Or ages ago. He didn't really keep up with the kids today. That was main character stuff. By the time he heard the current slang it wasn't anymore. It was no longer being used. Yeeted right out. Oh well, YOLO. Skeet, skeet, skeet. Skibidi toilet to you, my good sir.

These were the jokes he told himself, and he laughed at them. But he knew if he said them outloud at work people would not laugh. That wasn't a guess. He knew that.

Even background characters who are comfortable being background characters sometimes say something. Sure to the main characters it usually sounds like rabble, rabble rabble or watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, but still. Completely silent background characters would be a little creepy.

Can you even imagine going through your entire day with nobody speaking to you? No hello from the woman walking her dog. No how are you today from the guy behind the counter at the deli. People just looking right through you without ever acknowledging your presence? Can you imagine? He could.

He had some acquaintances once that he saw outside of work. Those very social types who would throw big parties and invite everyone. He went to a couple. Then RSVPed to a couple and didn't show up. When they didn't notice if he was there or not there he realized he was just the background party goer. And that didn't appeal to him at all so he stopped. They didn't notice.

That was the life of a background character.

It's also what made him the perfect spy.

Everyone expects spies to be like James Bond. Flashy. Bold. Maybe Tom Cruise plays you in the movie of your life. Doing his own stunts which aren't nearly as impressive as the derring do spies actually got up to. That's what people imagine anyway.

But mostly he just listened. He hung around in the background, ignored, unnoticed, and just listened. People said the most amazing things to each other when they thought that they were the only two main characters in the room. Even if they noticed him, they soon forgot him. He wasn't worth paying attention to.

He was paid pretty well for his work, though he was careful how he spent his money. His car, his clothes, his house, it all had to be background, nothing too shabby, nothing too showy. Inside the house there were signs that disposable income wasn't a problem. He had the stereotypical man set up. Big TV, all the video game systems, good stereo. Though he didn't have a turntable and wasn't in to collecting vinyl. Those guys thought they were main characters. He didn't mess around with that. Nothing that he couldn't buy from any suburban big box retailer.

Just all of it.

And when he sat down to play his video games he always chose...

...to just watch the cutscenes.

He was who he was all the way through.