Recommend the Wallow...

Just as a quick follow up to yesterday...

I recommend the wallow when you need to.

As Brent says, wallow but don't get stuck.

I think, for me at least, that telling yourself, "Today I wallow, tomorrow I move on" gives you that space to feel your feels and process what you need to, or can, and then move on as best as possible.

Now, caveat, this doesn't work for BIG grief, or BIG DEPRESSION, those things don't follow any timeline you can set. BUT for little bummed out days, or hurt feelings, or old grief that has bubbled up. Wallow. Set some time and just let yourself feel your feels. A few minutes, a few hours or a whole day. What ever you can, or feel you need to.

I shed a few tears. At some crunchy pretzels with gusto. Finished a book while cuddling some cats and now...

I do feel better. I mean, the sadness will always be there in the background because the situation is a sad one, but it's not at the surface demanding that I pay attention to it.

I did. I took the hurt out, I held it in my hands. I re-examined everything I did. I asked myself again if I could have done anything differently, which of course I could have. Then I thought about what that choice would have been and came to the same conclusion. I did the right thing. The results were not what I would have hoped, but I did what was right.

And that's all I can do.

So today I move on.

But if I had just kept pushing it down and not dealing with the feelings? It would have stuck around for a lot longer. It would have crept up when I wasn't expecting it. It would have colored everything gray for weeks.

So instead yesterday sucked and today is better.

I recommend the wallow.

But as Brent says, Just don't get stuck.