Smiles, Everyone, Smiles...

I talked about the anniversary of my father's death on Monday, but it was also the anniversary of my mother's birth. She would have been 93.

I inherited a lot of mannerism and traits from my mother, but mostly her face. And not just the fact that I look a lot like her, but we both suffer(ed) from FFS.

Friendly face syndrome.

It's the flipside to Resting Bitch Face. I look approachable. I look like your best friend from 3rd grade. Or I look like your best friend from 3rd grade's sister or mother or auntie. I look familiar to almost everyone. And I look familiar in a friendly way.

This leads to small children finding me in stores to safely return them to their parents. Or to strangers telling me their life story. FFS. It's not the greatest thing for an introvert to have inherited but I did.

I also am my mother's child in the fact that I cannot abide by rudeness. So I find the lost parents. I listen to the stories. I try really hard to remember that the person talking to me is just looking for a little bit of connection in their day. I might be the only one they talk to that day. Or the only one who listens and responds without sighing and rolling my eyes that they dared to approach me.

It amuses Brent. Partly because he had no idea that I was an introvert until we were well into our marriage. He knew he was. He knew Katie was. But when I bought the book Quiet he was like, Why are YOU buying that book? You aren't an introvert. Because to him I'm not. I'm not shy. I will talk to anyone. But a lot of that is because I have very little choice. People want to talk to me. To tell me their secrets. Standing in line for a hockey game one night I complimented a woman on her shirt or shoes or something and ended up hearing the story about how she peed on her porch.

You will see that I started that interaction with the compliment, which is why Brent was like, you are clearly NOT an introvert, but for those of you who have been around awhile you know I compliment people. Friends, strangers, everyone. I think compliments are great. And I think we waste them by only thinking to ourselves, oh I like that color shoe, instead of telling the person who is wearing them, I like your shoes. You get nothing out of just thinking a nice thought about someone, but they get a lovely little serotonin boost if you share it. It's a thing I make a habit to do.

And sometimes I regret it.

Usually my method is to wait until right before I will be out of their general area. As I'm leaving, or as they are. I'll stop, "Excuse me, I hate to interrupt/bother you but that is the coolest looking backpack I've ever seen." Then I'm out of there, or they are.

Mostly so I don't end up hearing about the time they got locked out of the house and peed in one of their planters on the porch. Because my face signals to them that they should tell me everything. FFS.

But it's also a good thing. I shine "you are safe here" just by standing in a space. On Saturday at the No Kings protest we were standing with our friends and another lady joined us. I thought she must know one of the other people we were there with. I made sure to include her in the eye contact when I was talking and to clarify things that she wouldn't know because she was a friend of a friend. Turns out that no, she just joined our group for a little bit because we were all there at the protest.

Later another person joined a couple of us. They were wearing a Critical Role Pride t-shirt. It has a lot of the Pride flag colors depicted as dice. We ended up talking to the friend I was there with about different colors and what they represented and then different orientations and what that meant. It was a good discussion, fun, a little overwhelming for my friend so I ended up giving her the basic, "Just don't be rude" line.

I know that the person wearing the shirt was headed to Australia the next day and that they were a little worried about the content on their phone when they come back, but they have Global Entry and Clear and PreCheck and everything you can possibly get to make it easier so it should be okay. I hope they have a good trip and get home safely. I also know that they are mainly ACE, they can recognize that a lot of different people are attractive but also boys are icky.

Which made me laugh so hard.

One thing I don't know? Their name. Never asked it. Didn't even think about it. But that's because my interaction with them there at the protest was plenty. They seemed like a nice enough person but I was pretty peopled out by the time we left. And I still had a soccer match and a repair person to deal with over the next few days. I was tapped by the end. Needed to just sit by myself and recharge.

But even with knowing that it will gas me out. Even with how uncomfortable dealing with people can make me. It will always be part of who I am. People will always tell me their life stories. Children will always find me in a crowd. I will always smile and listen or try to help. FFS...it's just who I am.

Thanks, Mom.