Take My Advice...

...or don't. I mean, it's totally up to you.

Advice is one of those odd things. Most of us don't really want it, but we still ask for it. We doubt ourselves. We question our decisions. So we ask people for their advice. And then we ignore it, or resent it, or follow it and blame them if things don't work out, or follow it and forget they gave us the advice when it does work out and just congratulate ourselves on being so smart.

When Brent and I got married one of the best pieces of advice we got was that we should listen to what people were going to tell us on how to have a happy marriage, but to always remember that those things are what worked for them. Brent and Denise had never been married before so it was still a mystery what was going to work for us, we were going to have to find our own way. I thought that was great. I also thought it was funny considering it was from the minister of my family's church during the mandatory pre-marriage counselling. I mean, if we were going to have to find our own way then why were we there once a week for six weeks?

Brent's favorite bit was about finances; "never skimp on food or women's lingerie" Also from the minister which made it a little weird, but funny anyway.

One of my collected quotes is from von Goethe (in Faust, Part One) "as soon as you trust yourself you will know how to live."

It's really the same advice Larry gave us all those years ago. Only you know the best way for you to be in the world. As soon as you realize that you will know how you should live.

As you all know I hold pretty true to that in my life. I am constantly working on figuring out the best way for me to be. I know that when I try to be what I think I should be, instead of what I am, or what I think other people expect of me, I end up pretty miserable. I don't really fit into a box. It makes me claustrophobic. And itchy.

But I still ask people their opinion. "What do you think about....", "What would you do...?" I'm not really seeking validation, I don't think, moreso information. And just flat out curiosity.

I do things this way, how do you do them? Why?

I'm probably not going to change the way I do it, but maybe I will if your way seems better. Either way I am interested.

I've had friends get really mad at me when they've given me advice, advice I've asked for, and then not followed it. And I get it. I've had friends who constantly sought advice and never followed it as well. And it's frustrating when you know your way is so much better.

Until you remember that your way is so much better for you. Not for them. And maybe they just want to hear other options to see if something sounds better. Doesn't mean it will. Just means it's good to have options.

Trust yourself.

And don't skimp on food or women's lingerie.