The Loss of Time...

I wish I could remember where I saw it so I could give credit but...

A year or so ago there was a "What did no one warn you about getting older that you wish they had?" posts. The answers ranged from funny to deep to just really weird. But the one that stuck with me the most, the one I still think about at least weekly was: "The amount of loss you will have."

Holy shit. How true is that? Nobody really mentions it. Or if they do you don't pay attention because they tell you when you are young and invincible and all of your friends are also young and invincible and you will be friends forever and ever and ever.

Until one day you realize that you aren't. You are neither invincible or still friends with the same people. You lose people. Either through death or through relationships just running their course.

Before the advent of social media I remember a wedding photographer friend telling me that the weirdest part of their job was knowing that the majority of the people in those wedding party photos would no longer be friends within 5 to 10 years. That for a group of them, that day, the wedding day, would actually be the last time they even saw each other.

And honestly, yeah.

If it weren't for social media I would not have any contact with the majority of our wedding party. Brent and I moved right away, others within a few years. We did a pretty good job of keeping in touch (some of us) for awhile but eventually just stopped. After finding everyone online again a few years ago a lot of us have kept in contact, not just the wedding party, but also other friends from that era in our lives.

Ironically if it weren't for social media we might actually have more contact, or at least wish for more contact, with a few members as well. Remember a time when we didn't know everyone's political views? Pepperidge Farm remembers, and reminds you that just because you didn't know your friends and family were racist transphobes, they were still racist transphobes. Another form of loss really. That loss of innocence.

But yeah, the loss...

For as many weddings as we've seen, we've seen an equal number of divorces. Friends have died. Family members have died. Relationships have ended. But not even just those bigger things. We lose jobs. We lose places. Restaurants that you have great memories of close. The vacant field you used to play pickup games in is now a supermarket. Houses burn down or are bulldozed to build three more houses in the same space. Schools close. The places that make up our past just cease to exist. Or are remodeled and revamped beyond our recognition.

We lose health. We lose memories. We lose time.

Nobody warns you how the losses just keep stacking up.

I'm not sure that it would matter if they did. One of those things we lose is the ability to just brush off all of the warnings of the olds. Once we are the olds we get it. They weren't trying to bum us out, or drag us down, they were trying to warn us. Cherish the now. Love the people around you. Make those memories. Because before you know it, it will be gone.

Life is in a continual state of renewal. We have new friends, new places, new family. And eventually we are going to lose all of that as well. Which sounds so terrible, and it is, and it isn't. It's just life. Life is addition and subtraction. Death and renewal. Gains and losses.

Cherish the now. That's the lesson in the warning. Nobody tells you how much loss you will have. But nobody can really tell you how many new things you will gain either and then eventually lose. Cherish it all now.