Timing...

If I had heard Personal Jesus before People are People I think I would have been a Depeche Mode fan in high school. As it was I wrote them off as Depressed Mode and barely tolerated them. As a weird aside, Just Can't Get Enough is one of my favorite songs ever, not just favorite Depeche Mode song. I love it so much I had no idea it was Depeche Mode for probably a decade.

This past weekend I read an article about the writing and recording of Enjoy the Silence and the author of the piece called Violator a perfect record. Brent was a fan of Depeche Mode so I listened to Violator when it first came out. And it was okay. But I had it in my head that I didn't care for them so I only half listened. Emo synth pop was not really my jam.

But I listened to Violator today and then Some Great Reward and realized that though, yes I could see the argument for Violator I prefer Some Great Reward over all. I don't even mind People are People anymore. At 56 I'm suddenly a Depeche Mode fan. I just heard People are People at the wrong time in my life to appreciate it, and then to appreciate Depeche Mode over all.

Sometimes it's all about timing. When are you exposed to an idea?

Before this last election I was one of the people trying to stress that electing Trump meant it was all over for the rest of us. That he had no urge to govern as a president in a shared power structure but as an authoritarian. And that he had surrounded himself with Christian Nationalists who were more than willing to help him make that happen.

I wasn't wrong.

I didn't envision Elon in the mix like he has been, but he fits the group. Racist megalomaniac who wants to destroy the systems we have in place so he can enrich himself? Yup. So a lot of it has moved faster and in ways that I hadn't really imagined, but it's all racing to the same place. White Nationalism. Illiberal Democracy. If you aren't a white man you are not a full citizen.

I have friends who are optimistic about midterms and then a new presidential election in 2028. But I am not. I think this was our last free and fair election. I think we as a country fucked up. I mean, I didn't, not in the voting part, but I did in the I should not have taken Biden's election as a sign we were turning things around and I should have continued pursuing our exit strategy. But I didn't. And so here we are.

Brent and I were talking about when people take to the streets. We are old. Our forms of protest and push back generally take the form of money and speech. We donate to causes we believe in, we don't spend money at places that don't align with our beliefs (as much as possible), and we are not quiet about what we see happening. I write these, I write our congresspeople and push for them to FUCKING DO SOMETHING, we call their offices, we use our money voices and our actual voices. But I did say that I would expect we will take to the streets before it's all over.

I used to say I was going to live to 100. Realistically the age I was shooting for was probably mid 80s. But I had family that lived to over 100. Independently. And so that's what I wanted. It's a good number. But I don't think that anymore. I think I've probably optimistically got 10 years left. And I don't think I'm going out peacefully in my sleep like I wanted, I think it will be a violent death.

Because if you follow who these people are and what they want, they are going to eventually come for my daughter. They've started coming for her with Executive Temper Fit Mandates. They've started coming for her health care. They've started already. And the next step is physically coming for her. And they will have to go through me. And if I'm not there when they come, then I'll go after them.

I know it sounds very dramatic. But I've seen how this plays out in Russia and in Hungary. I know they are going to come for her. And I know I will not let that stand.

I also know I will lose.

And I know it doesn't matter, I'll still do it.

Growing up the history we learned about the Conquistadors included conversion by gun or knife point. Violence. You worshipped their god or you died. The Native population in what is now New Mexico didn't have a problem with their priests and their religion. Especially while the guys with the weapons were there. The Spaniards left for a bit, other areas to conquer, changing of the guard, whatever reason. They left the priests and the churches though. And when they came back the churches were still there, but not the priests.

See the Native's didn't have a problem with their religion, but they did have a problem with being told they couldn't have their own. And they bided their time. And when they were no longer out gunned they took care of things.

I wasn't taught this history as a "this is bad" lesson. The Native's were the good guys. I've talked about how shocked I was when I got to California and in all the artwork and the history I got in college the Spaniards were the good guys and the Natives were the violent savages.

It depends on when you are exposed to something on how you take it. If I had been exposed to the story that the Conquistadors were heroic before I was exposed to the story that they were violent savages my outlook would have been different. Not just my outlook on them, but my outlook on rebellion as a whole.

I don't think I am going out in my sleep. I think I will have a violent end. And I'm okay with that.

What I hope is that if this end happens, if something doesn't shift in our situation, if it does come to me standing between them and my daughter that someone out there knows and tells the story.

I hope that more and more of us who know that rebellion is often the right answer inspire another generation to do so.

It might not be in my lifetime anymore, but I still have hope for this world to figure it's shit out and stop replaying the same fucking power play book.

I think it's too late for my generation. I think it's too late for me. But maybe it isn't too late for the rest of the world. Maybe.

Until then I just want to say, yeah, Some Great Reward is just a little better. And Diamonds and Pearls is better track for track than Purple Rain. I told you. Rebellion is my jam.