Tiny Taps, Tiny Taps...

I've been watching the World Cup matches (as I've mentioned) and one of the most surprising things to me is how much I've been loving Zlatan as an announcer.

Last night while we were watching the commercial for YouTube TV came on and I told Brent that it was my favorite commercial in a long time. I love it. He said he was surprised that Zlatan let them film him doing "that" (I won't spoil what "that" is for anyone who is 1. a soccer fan, and 2. hasn't seen the commercial yet) and I said that I thought it was hilarious. He said he didn't think Zlatan had that sort of sense of humor about himself and I said...

He amuses me.

I couldn't say that he really does have a sense of humor about himself, even in the commercial it's built around him being really full of himself even if it's not deserved. But watching him jog along with the ball saying "tiny taps, tiny taps" over and over made me laugh. (That's how you teach a four or five year old how to dribble the ball when they are first starting to play, tiny taps, tiny taps) And I sort of feel like he at least knows that he's too much. But it doesn't stop him from being too much.

But right now he, Thierry Henry, and Alexi Lalas are working as a team doing pre/post/mid game announcing with Rebecca Lowe. It's been an interesting mix. Rebecca Lowe, I think, could moderate with anyone and be fine. She's always class. Thierry and Zlatan were world class players, multiple awards and championships and expertise and Alexi... well he also played.

And that's why I've been loving Zlatan. His ego is so large that it's crowding out Alexi's. He and Thierry are so well versed, and so confident, in what they are saying that they keep shutting Alexi down. And I'm living for it.

I cannot stand Alexi Lalas. I mean, I was being super subtle there, but I wanted to make sure I was clear. He's a blowhard. He's a crank. He bugs the shit out of me.

The year that the Timbers won their championship anytime Fox carried a game and Alexi was commenting it was nothing but negativity about the team. I'm pretty sure after that final whistle blew in Columbus he was still saying we were on the verge of embarrassing ourselves and ending the season. And that never changed. When he shows up on screen I tell him to keep my team's name out of his mouth.

And it's not just the Timbers, it's even more so the USWNT. The extent to which he actively roots against them in international play is infuriating. He doesn't like their politics, or at least the teams before this current line up. He cannot stand that these women wouldn't just shut up about inequity. He hates that Rapinoe spoke out against Trump and would. not. let. it. go. And I get it, I do. I have a lot of people whose politics disgust me, but it's not my job to talk about international sports on TV and somehow try to say the USWNT isn't patriotic enough. Well, Alexi, the men's national team when you were on it wasn't good enough so...

So yeah, I don't like him. He's abrasive and annoying and Thierry and Zlatan have been showing that he's also out classed on a panel with other players. Hell, Dempsey who I am contractually obligated to hate, does a better job. DEMPSEY! Ugh...

So all of that is to say I've been finding Zlatan really amusing lately. He's amusing me. His "I am the most incredible thing since...well since nothing compares to Zlatan!" has been making me smile instead of roll my eyes. Because the person being a thorn in the side of Alexi gets a little shine.

BUT...here's the thing. Zlatan is an awful person. I wrote about reputation calls a few weeks ago. How you earn your reputation by your actions. Well Zlatan is a violent jerk. He's gotten into fist fights with not only opponents but teammates because he felt slighted. He broke an opponent's leg and when given a chance to say how sorry he was he said HE DID IT ON PURPOSE. He's not a good guy. He is in fact an awful guy. He insulted France's women's national team when they were pointing out the inequity in how they were treated. He's a jerk. Like I couldn't list all of the ways he's terrible.

One of my favorite Zlatan memories (before this tournament) was when he came to play in the MLS and we got to watch him play. And the Timber's held him scoreless. It was beautiful. And it was really exciting because we didn't think he'd even play up here since we have turf and not grass. But he did. And we shut his shit down. (My other Zlatan favorite was when Zava shows up on Ted Lasso and everyone I know went ZLATAN! upon seeing the character)

Nothing that he's doing right now negates the fact that he's been a terrible human for most of the time I've been aware of him. Just because he's being ornery to someone I don't like doesn't change that. I wouldn't trust him to be a gentle lamb just because we both find Alexi annoying.

Saw the latest George Conway ad this morning. He's running to be a Democratic Representative. George Conway and the Lincoln Project have been a huge thorn in Trump's side. They annoy the fuck out of him. They poke him where it hurts. They are ruthless. They fight hard. All of the things we want in opposition. But George Conway is not a democrat. He was (is?) part of the Federalist Society. He's never said he had a revelation that he has been completely wrong in all of his foundational beliefs, he just hates Trump.

And honestly, that's great. For ads and opinion pieces and poking the bear. But it is not enough to vote for him. He's not a democrat. He's someone who hates Trump.

Let him amuse you, but don't forget who he is.

Even if it would bug Alexi Lalas as well...