Trial By Jury...

It's so important it's in the Declaration of Independence. It's part of the Constitution. It's a big deal. And it's something that everyone tries to get out of.

Except me.

Anyone who knows me knows I really think serving on a jury would be interesting. I love hearing other people's stories and can you imagine the stories that you would get being on a jury? Well, I mean, I can, but I'd like to hear them for real. That and I have never served on a jury or been in a courtroom during a jury trial so I have no knowledge of what it's actually like, just the TV and movie stuff. Which we know has to be bullshit.

Anyway, because I want to serve on a jury I never get called for jury duty. Okay, that's an exaggeration I've been called twice. Today and back in August of 2014. If you read that link you'll see how that day went. If you don't, spoiler alert, I was dismissed without ever making it out of the jury selection room. Done by 11 AM. It was disappointing.

Today was going to be my day though! For sure!

I got to the courthouse right on time, ready to go. But not too terribly early since I learned from my mistake 11 years ago not to show up before they open the doors. Still ended up waiting outside for a bit but it wasn't terrible. Didn't wear shoes with metal adornments, learned that last time as well, but since I was wearing boots somehow that meant I had to take them off anyway. Okay fine. Of course there is no bench to sit on to take off your shoes so it was balance and hope. (Again, work on those balance exercises!) I didn't fall or twist or hurt my ankle so that was great.

Still set off the metal detector. Because I'm wearing a barrette. Seriously. My barrette set it off. I get it, it's a courthouse they are really careful with the detectors and safety and if there is any place that needs it, the courthouse is that place but come on...I did convince the guy to wand me (things that sound dirty but aren't) instead of making me take down my hair so I'm calling it a win.

Get to the jury holding room and sit down to wait. They make an announcement for all of us to turn off our phones, no do not disturb, all the way off. There are people in the room who do not know how to turn off their phones. Which is why they make you do it. Because it has to be done in the courtroom and you need to figure it out before then. Ah. Great. Now the woman sitting next to me had ZERO patience for the people who didn't know how to turn off their phones. She said, "I have no idea how I'm going to make it through this day." I told her that the last time I was called we were dismissed by like 10:45 so maybe she'd get lucky. Then she told me that she was used to being on the witness stand. She's a retired cop. I told her that even if she got picked for the pool she'd probably get dismissed so a half day at worst.

After everyone figures out how to get their phones off they start a video.

A video that they said we needed to watch before we showed up for jury duty.

So I watched the video again.

Now, I will say the whole check in process was a lot smoother than it was a decade ago. Most of it is done online now before you ever show up. Including the rah rah you are important video and the unconscious bias video (the one we had to watch twice). That cut down on a lot of the questions and fuss.

After the video they did a roll call, all by juror number. Which had been randomized. My group was 2-242 and my number was 148. But I wasn't called to check in until like 7th from last. Which was my first warning that I was not going to have a fabulous fun day.

They called the first group of 6 right away. Before any of the other stuff had even happened. Basically as they got there they were whisked off to a different building. Not sure if they were actually reporting for Grand Jury duty or if they had just been pulled for an early trial. But after that first group and the check in process we just sat and waited. The facilitator let us know that different types of trials have different size juries and different sizes of jury pools to pull from. Felonies are the biggest. Larger jury and a pool of 30 to choose from. Cool.

They let us know that we would be going to another building and to go ahead and turn off our electronics again and get ready to go. Then about a half hour later she said never mind. There was an emergency hearing happening so we were on hold for a bit. Then a bit later she said we would be in this building after all and they would be coming soon to get us so turn off our electronics again. After another half hour to forty five minutes they called another group of six. Then another six. Then 15. And as I thought, the order they called people in was that roll call randomized order. After they got all of their groups she told the rest of us to stand up and I thought, well here we go this is where we are dismissed.

BUT NO! We got to go up to the third floor and got seated, in our roll call order, in the courtroom. One of the groups that got called earlier was sitting in the jury box so they were the ones in line to be jurors and we were the spares if they got dismissed through voir dire. Ladies and gentlemen, there were 30 of us in the pool. It's a felony case! How exciting!

The first thing was the judge asking if anyone had any general questions. A few people did their darndest to get sent home without just saying SEND ME HOME! The judge was having none of it. He would say something along the lines of but would that mean you cannot be fair? Or well I think the lawyers will have follow up questions for you then. I mean, it probably worked because none of them ended up on the jury, but still. Just do your duty and stop being a little bitch about it.

The judge explained what was going to happen and then had us pass a sheet of questions around and answer them. Then the defense lawyer and the prosecution got a crack at us. It was interesting. A lot of general questions. Do you know what reasonable doubt is, who has the burden of proof in a case, circumstantial versus direct evidence. A lot of general questions about law. And a few specific questions about things. And follow up questions if we weren't specific enough, like I said I was retired they wanted to know from what. I told them if I wanted them to know I would have told them. Kidding...I told them my last two jobs, which is what I normally do when people push for more. The woman in the row ahead of me who was also retired gave her whole work history.

After they asked their questions the judge asked if anyone had anything to add, or any questions for him before they went to the next step. One of the guys in the jury box asked about the length of the trial, he had an event tomorrow afternoon that had been planned for along time and he could not move it as people were flying in just for the event. The judge couldn't guarantee that he'd be done by noon so he got to leave. Suddenly a few people were thinking they should have tried that excuse. One of the guys in the jury box wanted to clarify that he not only lived with his wife but also their two cats. Which the prosecutor joked, that's it you're out. But he was just making sure he was clear because a lot of people added their pets when they answered the question about who they lived with.

Then they did a few rounds of dismiss the jurors. Out of the original group that was in the jury box a little over half were sent on their way. The woman sitting next to me and I had pegged who would go home when they answered questions. We nailed it. The retired cop was the second one sent packing so that lets me know that the prosecution had first pick. The guy with the cats was also released. The woman next to me and I both leaned in and said, "The cats."

One of the guys in the jury box asked if you got to know which side dismissed you if you were dismissed. The judge said no and that nobody had ever asked that which he found interesting. He was not dismissed, but I bet they thought about it. I also would love to know why people were dismissed. Like I said some of them you just knew from their answers that they were going, but some of them there didn't seem to be a real reason.

As people were dismissed the next juror up sat in their seat. Sometimes they sat down for long enough for the next challenge to be sent up to the judge and then they went right back out. Finally they got to the last alternate space. And I thought I might have a chance. Three people went up and went right back out. The woman with the whole work history was a sit and stand again.

But alas...no.

They found their jury and I was still 7 people away from my shot. I told Brent I wasn't sure I would have been picked anyway. During the questions anyone can answer section I seemed to be one of three who could or at least would answer. I mean, come on people, am I seriously the only one in this room that knows our justice system is based on innocent until proven guilty? Or that innocent and not guilty are not the same thing and can tell you the difference? Or has an idea how to tell who the driver of a car is if both people say it wasn't them? Yeah, if they wanted people who know things I could have been picked, but often they'd rather you didn't. Oh and I also had a negative opinion of WalMart. I said I could still hear the case and judge on the merits, but I did have an opinion.

So who knows...

But I got farther. I made it all the way to lunch break this time. I made it into a courtroom. I got to take an oath to tell the truth. I got to hear the barest of outlines of what the case would be. I found out there is a big murder trial going on today and that there would be press around and DON'T TALK TO THEM! And I bit my tongue and didn't say the A stands for All when they asked about knowing any police.

So yeah...still not living the dream but closer.

Maybe next time I'll actually get to hear a whole case and be foreperson and decide the fate of the free world!

Or not. Dana thinks I'm too eager. Brent thinks I'm too smart. I think I would be great at it because I can tell if someone is guilty just by looking at them...Just kidding.

And because you made it all the way to the end here is a holiday story from a few years ago.