Dear ABC...

Dear ABC,
I hear you settled a lawsuit with Trump and as part of that settlement you have to write an apology. As you just paid out $15 million dollars to settle I thought you might want the apology for free so I'm doing you a solid and helping you out.

To Whom It May Concern:
We at ABC sincerely apologize for our blatant misdeeds. On a broadcast George Stephanopoulos repeatedly said that Trump had been found guilty of rape. This was clearly wrong. He was not found guilty of rape, he was found guilty of sexual abuse and also of defaming the woman who said he raped her, because as the judge stated, what he did would fit most people's definition of rape, just not the narrow penal code of New York definition of rape.

So, yes, the jury did not find him guilty of rape. The jury found him guilty of sexual abuse. Of slamming Ms. Carroll into a wall, tearing down her tights, and forcibly, without consent, penetrating her. But not rape. This was clearly our mistake. To say he raped her by slamming her into a wall, tearing down her tights, forcibly and without consent penetrating her when we should have said this was sexual abuse. Of which he was found guilty and Mr. Stephanopoulos should have been clear and should have stated multiple times that he had been found guilty of sexual abuse. Of sexually abusing Ms. Carroll and of then lying about it and defaming her when she spoke out about it.

We are paying the settlement to stop the case because, as Trump also said, he could shoot someone in the middle of 5th ave and not lose a vote, and we would not like to test that theory with Mr. Stephanopoulos. And also because, as he's also said, when you're famous you can get away with it.

Though, technically, he did not get away with it with Ms. Carroll, it just took awhile for it to catch up to him. But grabbing us? Well, that seems to be something he will get away with. Because we at ABC are not as strong as Ms. Carroll. Or as strong as Stormy Daniels and we will not stand up to him as they have. So he's got that going for him.

Well, that and our $15 million dollars.

Because Trump did not, and we want to be clear about this, rape Ms. Carroll when he pushed her against a wall, tore down her tights, and forcibly without consent penetrated her. He sexually abused her.

Our bad.

Sincerely,
ABC