(Dys)Functional Fitness...

This is going to be an extended version of the end of month fitness check in box so if things like this either trigger you or bore you to tears this is your bow out now.

OH WAIT! Before you go...there is a new feature that Ghost added to the posts. Now if you click into the post (assuming you are reading it from your inbox) it gives you a "Share" button to make it easier to repost blogs. Since we are going to be in a thick and heavy political summer I wanted to bring it to your attention in case any of you need a one step deniability but really I agree with this sweary angry woman. Okay, now you can step out if you want.

So the way the month worked out, today was the day I did my end of month measurements. I do them on the last Friday of the month and sometimes it falls like this one did, a week before the month is actually over. But it worked out well because I started that new workout system four weeks ago so this was a clean line of stats to see how it went.

So... I gained muscle and lost fat, which is what you want to do right? And it was hard. Like really freaking hard. I was telling Brent and Katie that it's funny and also sort of tragic. Back in the late 90s functional fitness was having a moment. Instead of just aerobics where you danced around to raise your heart rate, or weight lifting where you worked in one plane of motion, these workouts mimicked the movements you make it daily life, the twists and turns and lifting in compound steps. I got a few tapes and then stopped doing it because it was too freaking easy. Like come on, this is a joke. Well PVOLVE is also functional fitness. And it's so fucking hard. Like you aren't just moving in one plane of motion, you are doing twists and balance and compound movements....

Apparently the difference between early 30s and pushing 60 is much bigger than my head and body were ready to deal with!

But, it's great. It's hard. It's challenging. It's all of the balance and core that I knew I was missing. Some intense workouts using their bands and sliders and slant board. It's intense enough that I have to take a break after the workout before doing cardio. Can't roll right into it without my body yelling THIS IS TOO MUCH AND NOW I'M NAUSEATED! So yeah...good buy.

And like I said, I gained muscle and lost fat. Two pounds of muscle and one and a half pounds of fat. For those of you playing along in the math that means I gained weight in April. Which is so fucking frustrating. And yes, muscle weight is better and blah blah blah woof woof...

Last week I hit a bad stretch with my weight. Not that it went high or crazy or anything but that it's been the same for a couple of years. Like hanging out in the same 4 pound range. I lose a little, then I gain it back. Which is typical for me. My weight is stubborn. The only big swings I've had lately were at the beginning of the pandemic I gained a lot. Like 20 pounds. Covid 19-20 right? No gym, home baking a lot, drinking more than I had been (like 3 drinks a week up from 3 drinks a month, don't think I went on a bender). But then in 2021 I did that food testing and found all my "don't eat this" stuff and dropped 20 pounds. Back to where I was before the pandemic. Great. Stayed there for long enough that I got rid of my bigger clothes.

And then slowly gained back about 15. Lost five again when I got serious about it and then....stuck. And I've been stuck ever since. For a few years. Through injuries, and health, consistent workouts and nothing but PT, just hanging out in the same range. Which is nuts. It should have moved up during injuries at least. But no.

I started wearing a tracking ring and using a calorie/nutrition counter in December. I wanted to see where I could improve. And that's where the frustration hit last week.

I've tweaked, I've shaved, I've manipulated. And I'm still where I am. I don't have a lot of calories to play with, I could cut more but I'm already hungry. And, honestly? I don't want to. I just don't want to anymore. I don't have the drive that I used to, to go hungry in pursuit of that loss. I get the attraction of the GLP-1 drugs that make it so you just aren't hungry anymore, and also it makes me sad to think about it because I think good food is a gift.

It's not been a total failure to track though. I learned that Brent was right I wasn't getting enough protein for how much I work out. I was over estimating how much of that I was taking in. I learned that I'm not out of control in my sugar and my snacking and just overall calories. I am where I thought I was. Which is good to know, even if it's SUPER fucking frustrating.

But that was part of my terrible mood last week. It was coming to terms with the fact that I'm working this hard to just maintain my weight and fitness and to actually change anything I would have to do something I just am not willing to do. No matter how unfair that seems, it is what it is. After crying at Brent about it I decided to just let it go and so this week I've been working on that.

And then today I did my full weights and measures and...still got pissed that I gained weight this month. So yeah, it's a work in progress for sure.

This weekend I'll lay out the new plan for May. I found a bunch of new Tommy Rivs running series stuff that I hadn't done so I'm actually set with that through like August, which is great. Running with Rivs makes me happy. (Yes, I'm "running" again, slowly, in short bursts but my foot seems to be handling it well) I'm going to keep doing PVOLVE, found a series with them that's three days a week instead of the four I've been doing this month which gives me space to add in some other weight training. Though I did gain muscle this month it was all back and core so I want to make sure I'm hitting my arms a little more.

I think I'm going to do a program Brent sent me that Chris Hemsworth does. So maybe by the end of the summer I'll be able to lift Mjölnir, which seems like a more reasonable goal than losing ten pounds. I'm also going to keep doing Body Groove, which is a dance series. It's kind of free flowing, not super rigid and all about being happy in your body more than worrying about being happy with your body. I maybe should double up on that...

And I'm actually going to keep tracking calories and wearing my ring. I want to make sure I'm eating enough, in the right balance, I want to make sure I'm continuing to move and stay active. I like the little reinforcements that come with the ring, shocking I know. But I like seeing that I've actually figured out the work/rest balance. And I like the reminder to move more on the weekends. I can lean toward slothdom those days and having a reminder to at least take a walk to the mailbox is a good thing.

But what I'm not going to do is beat myself up for not losing weight. It's just not there for me. Not in any way that I am willing to live. I'm too old to go hungry in pursuit of something that I might not even be able to hold on to.

So yeah, it seems as though I've hit a new set point and I just need to accept that and move on.

I'm working on it.