Final Projects...

fiction

"Who can tell me the most important part of your final project?"

Nervous glances passed all around the room. Nobody wanted to be first.

"Don't even bother raising hands, just shout out what you think. I'll make a list..."

Once the instructor turned their back on the room to face the whiteboard the group relaxed enough to shout out answers:

"Creativity"

"Cost effectiveness"

"A well thought out hypothesis."

"No expectations."

After a few minutes of ideas they turned back around and the room quieted.

"A lot of good answers here. A lot of things you should be considering for sure. But the most important thing is good parameters. Make sure you have set up good parameters. As you all know we've had some final projects go terribly wrong in the past and the reason was always faulty parameters."

They looked out over the sea of expectant faces.

"Who can give me an example of one of these failures and what parameter wasn't set?"

They waited until a tentative hand was raised. "Go ahead."

"Sisyphus. If your hypothesis is that someone who is tasked with rolling a boulder up a hill only to have it roll back down right before it reaches the top will only roll that boulder 20 times you must set a limit above 20 but you must set a limit. If you fail to set an end limit they could be stuck rolling that boulder for, well forever."

"Good answer. Does anyone have anything to add?"

Another hand in the back. "Yes?"

"And if you set up an experiment, like the boulder rolling one, you must contain it away from any other subjects."

"And if you don't?"

"The experiment will jump containment and a story will have to be written and a lesson given to why they are continually rolling that boulder, for example."

"We have a whole staff of mythmakers so why would that be an issue?"

"Because, well, ummm...it's extra work for them?"

"It is extra work, but that's not the reason. Did anyone in here minor in mythmaking? Anyone have an interest in that line of work?"

No positive responses.

"Why not?" They pointed at a student in the second row, "Why weren't you interested?"

"Honestly? It was too much. The introductory class we all took was a lot. A lot. There are so many different myths to keep track of, so many stories. I don't know how they write new ones."

"Well, if you noticed, they don't. Not all of the time. Sure sometimes something really unique comes up, but they recycle a lot. Probably 100 different religions have a flood story. Now, to be fair, not all of those were from a final project that got out of control, but a lot of them were. And the ones that were not created by us show what happens when we have to release a story. Other subjects will take those stories and apply them to areas we might not have considered. They borrow from each other's cultures constantly. Once a story has been created it is out of our control how they apply it. Another reason why we would like to avoid any new myths."

"I thought there were better safeguards now?"

"Good point, yes. We have improved systems, much better than we had at the start. But you should not rely on those backups. Even they can be breached. You do not want to be credited with creating another "god is angry with us" myth or, worst case, a brand new religion. It will not set your career back, it will end it. I promise you that.

Now, you have two more weeks before you need to submit your proposals to me. I suggested you run them past each other first, and then your advisors. Once they have been submitted to me they must be done. Even if I see that it's not going to go well. All I can offer at that point is the most secure room to conduct it in. Which should be a hint to you that you are about to fail and should be considering a back up plan."

The class filled with nervous laughter, until noticing that their instructor was not smiling.

"Good luck. Class dismissed."