Daily Stuff...

One of the things I (try) to do daily is a little mini journaling meditation thing. I started it with a book of daily positive quotes last year. Read the quote, write a couple of sentences about what it means to me. I liked it. Simple, good morning focus moment. Keep a focus on positivity.

So this year I found a book that is daily quotes accompanied by little letters the two authors wrote back and forth to each other followed by a "challenge for the day" where it basically has you focus on something from the quote or letter or both. I thought it would be really interesting. And the concept really is.

They wrote the letters during Covid and one of them was going through a health scare and the other a divorce. Big personal life changes in the middle of a big worldwide change.

And I really wanted to love it. But as I've mentioned before I was just having the hardest time connecting with it. To the point where I will forget for a few days at a time to actually do the reading and writing. Where last year it was a solid habit, right after a workout I'd do it. Set the day in motion. But this year? I just couldn't connect with what they were writing. I've muscled through and do them in batches sometimes to catch up. And I've tried really hard to glean something that I find helpful from their notes but...

When things like this happen I tend to blame myself. I joke about not being flighty, I'm multi focused. I also am easily bored and easily distracted. This means that I often don't do things. Even things I've been enjoying or know that I would enjoy. I put it aside and never pick it up. Or don't pick it up again for years. It can be really frustrating, not just for everyone around me, but for me as well. Like I don't KNOW WHY I'm like this. I just am. I mean I do know why, now, it's the ADD wiring, but knowing doesn't mean I've solved the issue, it just means I know that it's just the way I'm wired. I have to work to overcome it.

But I just have had the hardest time with this book.

And then this week there was one quote from Joel Olsteen and one from Ayn Rand and I went....oh, I see. I was never going to connect to these guys because we have very different world views. Like the only example I need to take from Olsteen and Rand is how to be a selfish piece of shit and then do the opposite of that.

Now I have to decide if I go ahead and finish off the year. I mean it's basically only two more months. I can keep doing what I've been doing and work at getting something of value out of their quotes and notes or I can just stop. The completist in me is battling with the fuck these guys part. I know the struggle to get something out of it has gotten harder after the double Olsteen Rand hit for sure. I don't trust them anymore. Not that I had a lot of trust in them before, but now for sure I don't.

But also maybe the struggle is a good thing? A lesson in how you can learn from anybody if you just approach it right? I'm never going to think that the Olsteen and Rand philosophies are good to follow, but maybe the lessons they are trying to draw from them will be interesting at least?

For now I'll keep going with it, but I'm not sure for how long.

That's the other piece with me, once you've lost me, you've really lost me. Let's see if I can jolly it along for another two months.

Today's quote of the day:

Don't follow false prophets who are only in it for real profits.