Anxious is as Anxious Does...

That's the way the saying goes right?

Or is it; If you stay anxious you don't have to get anxious?

It's something like that...

Or...I could get biblical about it. Don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Seriously. That's the jist of Matthew 6:34. Surprisingly when I was kid (or not at all surprising) that very "comforting" verse never comforted me much. Basically my interpretation was it's never getting better. Every day brings its own horror show.

So why am I thinking about anxiety and being anxious?

We are a week out from Brent's last day. The numbers have been crunched, the budgets have been combed. We planned out some cost cutting. We should be fine. And if we discover we are a little short we'll find something. Costco is the thought in our heads, but he actually has marketable skills so it might be me at Costco and him consulting somewhere. If we need to. Which we don't think we will. But...

It's a big step. It's one we really wanted to take. It's one that I think is better for Brent's health than any slight worry about bridging that gap from moving up retirement by a few years. But it's all still a little nerve wracking. Any big change is.

And, oddly, and this is even weirder, it doesn't even feel real right now. Right now the closest it feels is to him going on Sabbatical. We've done a few of those and that's what this feels like. He's taking a chunk of time off and then will go back. But he's not going back this time. Though he is technically going on vacation first. The first month he's off is just him burning through his vacation time. December is the actual retirement day. But anyway...

It's feels like Sabbatical. I'm not sure when it will really feel real that's he's retired. And no, that doesn't help the anxiety because I always got anxious right before Sabbatical as well, just sure that they were going to cancel it after we had already made all of our plans. Which seems crazy, but we did have to move it one cycle so it's not completely crazy. Just a little crazy.

But right now it feels like a Sabbatical.

But also like a leap of faith.

Which it is.

Not just faith, I mean, like I said, we crunched numbers (we being Brent and our finance guy, I put my fingers in my ears and said la, la, la, everything's fine), we adjusted some spending, we agreed to be frugal for a few years, we crossed our fingers and spit on the ground and made a wish on a falling star and...made the best decision we could with the facts we have.

And that's always the trick. At this moment in time this is absolutely the right call. And we have no way of knowing if it will work out or not. But next week we start our new adventure.

And in two weeks midterms.

So yeah, a little anxious around these parts. But nothing that a little disassociating with video games and extra chocolate can't handle!

Or maybe a lot of chocolate.